The Gold Card Arrived - What Can Go Wrong?

I spent a day working in a school, with a 24-year old teacher who intrepidly managed a "teacher-led innovation fund" project within her school.  In my role, I supported the teachers involved in integrating a STEAM (science, technology, engineering, arts and mathematics) approach in their classrooms by observing lessons, making suggestions, asking them to reflect on their learnings, question the very core of their reasons for education, and providing relevant readings for their learning.
The project is coming to a close and so we spent the day analysing data, discussing cause and effect, and writing a report for the ministry about "scanning the school ecosystem" and "using spirals of inquiry as a framework to investigate methods for pedagogical enhancement."  It was another satisfying day in my professional capacity as an educational facilitator.
And then I went home.  In the mail was letter from the government, containing the hallowed gold card - my reward for reaching the esteemed retirement age.
There is a nice little flier about the Super Seniors website, which actually looks quite useful because there are advocates for 'positive ageing' on the site, who "challenge common assumptions about aging".  Sounds good so far.

But then, things go downhill.  There is a dreadful brochure "Keep Going For Gold" - a great start with a vibrant-looking woman on the front, but inside the brochure it tells me things which you could never imagine, having reached this venerable age, and yes, I am being sarcastic.
Eating Well.  Did you realise that you should eat a variety of foods, including vegetables and fruit, bread and cereals, milk and low-fat proteins?  And you should watch your fat, sugar and salt intake? Restrict alcohol?
Staying Active.  Who would have thought that leading an active lifestyle can keep you healthy and that exercise and fresh air would have positive effects for me?
Looking After Your Health.  Apparently, I should also listen to my body because eyesight and hearing can deteriorate as I age, and also some medicines have side effects.  Our health is at greater risk as we age. Did you know?
Being Safe at Home. The icing on this cake is also that I should now improve the lighting in my house, install handrails, stick down mats, and tidy away electric cords.  And don't forget to WEAR SENSIBLE SHOES!
So, if I didn't feel old after my day in a professionally rewarding environment, I certainly do now.  Is this when people start treating you like an idiot?  I have already suffered the smug "can I help you, dear?" from assistants in shops.  No wonder old people become grumpy! 

Excuse me from writing any more, I have to go and throw out all my heels.